In the New Yorker, Jennifer Wilson explores the The New Business of Breakups. I read most of this article earlier this week while I was swinging in the hammock at Sprat Hall Beach. I lingered on this paragraph:
Have you ever had a client whose heart was taken up a hundred per cent by love, I asked. Sohn said yes, absolutely. A person like that, if they lose love, they lose everything. “Sometimes people tell me, ‘Well, that’s not romantic, Elena, saying that love and romance should take up, like, twenty per cent of my heart,’ ” she said. “And then I say, ‘No, no, that’s a misunderstanding, because, if you have several sources for your personal happiness, only then can you be a good partner.’ ” She stopped and looked at me intently. “Otherwise, you are—it’s a very bad word, and I don’t know if it is as bad in English as well, but in German it’s really, really bad. You are needy.”
I’ve learned about this neediness over the last few years. It’s why I’ve put much effort into time with friends and family and travel and soccer. Yesterday’s pick-up soccer game filled me with happiness—20 guys having fun, hugs and handshakes to mark the new year, compliments and laughter, good exercise and camaraderie and competition.
When I got home, the family sat down for brunch, including cinnamon rolls that I had prepared the night before. We went around the table to share our goals for the year ahead. I’ll continue to work on being a good partner to Erin, a patient father to my children, a compassionate friend and brother and son, and a happy soccer player.
© Anton Zuiker