On Micro.blog, I’ve been following Lou Plummer, @amerpie.lol, for a few years (I’m not sure if there’s a way for me to determine when I exactly hit the follow button). Lou is a natural blogger and he contributes app reviews, personal essays, and statements on current events throughout the day. I just reread his honest essay about quitting the bottle and his more recent post about the Difference Between Journaling and Blogging.
I’ve been blogging for 25 years, and journaling even longer. Similar to Lou, most of my journal entries have been about my daily activities—what I’ve done, where Erin and I traveled, how we cooked, what the kids learned. There wasn’t much writing about my emotions. My blogging even more tightly focused away from my feelings.
Or so I thought.
Part of what I have worked so hard on through therapy, meditation, coaching, reading, and long talks with Erin and friends is slowing down and breathing and taking the time to recognize all the feelings inside of me. Through this I’ve learned that I’m almost over-tuned to inputs around me, from sounds and heat to smells and yes, feelings.
And when I reread my old blog posts and paged through my old journals, reading more slowly and giving attention to the me who was writing those words, I noticed I could remember the feelings of those times. While my posts and entries didn’t usually say how I was feeling, I actually had a river of emotions that flowed through me, sometimes getting dammed up and sometimes erupting and plenty of times blossoming into smiles and laughs and love.
Now, in the morning (after I’ve sat still and breathed slowly and watched the dawn bring the day) I write in my journal and I often start with “This morning I am feeling …” It feels good to check in with myself this way.
In my blog posts, too, I’m trying to mention what I’ve noticed about how I am feeling.
As it happens, I’m excited to meet Lou. Turns out he lives in Fayetteville, just an hour away. We’re making plans to meet up for lunch. I know we’ll have a lot to talk about.
© Anton Zuiker